Purpose

The core of this event is our community, and the core of our community is trust. We expect that most of the people at our event are worthy of that trust. However, sometimes that trust is broken, and, whether malicious or not, the resulting effect on others can be detrimental to their mental or physical state. It is in order to ensure we can effectively respond to those situations that we are laying out some ground rules and expectations around behavior.

This code of conduct outlines our expectations for participant behavior as well as the consequences for unacceptable behavior.

Community Principles and Expected Behavior

As a community event, we are dedicated to creating an environment that nurtures mutual respect among all participants by providing a harassment-free experience for everyone, regardless of gender, gender identity and expression, sexual orientation, disability, physical appearance, body size, race, or religion. (And to be clear, this list is in no way meant to be exclusive, nor complete, but instead, indicative of the inclusivity and diversity we strive to support.)

Help us realize a safe and positive experience for everyone.

What is Unacceptable Behavior?

We do not tolerate harassment or abuse of people at our events or in our spaces (real or online) in any form. Participants asked to stop any harassing behavior are expected to comply immediately. Anyone violating these rules may be sanctioned or expelled (without refund).

Unacceptable behavior includes:

  • Physical and/or sexual harassment
  • Inappropriate physical contact
  • Abusive and/or derogatory verbal comments
  • Deliberate intimidation
  • Discriminatory actions
  • Stalking
  • Following
  • Photography or recording of people without their consent
  • Persistent, unwelcome sexual attention

Consequences of Unacceptable Behavior

If a participant engages in unacceptable behavior, whether by the letter or spirit of the rules, the organizers and/or event staff may take any action they deem appropriate, including expulsion from the event without warning or refund.

If an individual is expelled, they will be required to leave the event as soon as it is reasonably safe for them to do so. In the meantime, they may be monitored by one of the planners or event staff.

What to do if you witness or are subject to Unacceptable Behavior

If you are subject to unacceptable behavior, notice that someone else is being subject to unacceptable behavior, or have any other concerns, we encourage you to attempt to head off the unacceptable behavior before it escalates, but only if you feel comfortable and capable of doing so. Some useful questions for checking in with someone when you’re not sure the situation is cool: “Are you okay? Is there anything I can do for you?”

For more serious issues or any situations where you do not feel comfortable intervening, please notify the Site Coordinator (SC) or the Site Coordinator Assistant (SCA) as soon as possible. They will be the people wearing orange vests at any given time. They will either help you directly or help you identify the resources you need and escalate the situation as necessary. The Medical Staff are also available throughout the event, for situations needing their expertise.

If you wish to report an incident after the event, please contact any one or more members of the Code of Conduct Committee, listed at the end of this document.

Guiding Principles for Community Participants

1. Enthusiastic participation!

We all know that “no means no,” but sometimes being quiet and still means “no” too. Or even saying no initially, then saying yes after being “convinced” to participate by a partner can mean “no." There are lots of non-verbal cues that indicate someone is really not into what’s happening. Rather than relying on your correct interpretation of non-verbal cues, aim for enthusiastic consent! Yes means yes! Pay attention to your partner(s) and keep checking in. Make sure their verbal and physical cues match. Consent should be mutual and continuous.

2. Not everyone is as coherent or sober as they may appear

This is an event where people play with shifting and expanding their own boundaries. Maybe even you! So beware that when pushing your own boundaries, you may push into someone else’s. In some cases, crossing another person’s boundaries may cause them harm, whether you intended to or not. Even enthusiastic consent with someone who isn’t sober is very risky territory, both legally and emotionally. Some people enjoy and are okay with it, but if you are interacting with someone who you just met or don’t know well, consider keeping your interactions in PG/PG-13 territories until you’re sure you’ve seen them sober and you’re sure you are on the same page. And if it’s someone you do know who is suddenly acting out of character, check in with them and try to assess what’s going on. Better to take time to be sure than to cause lasting damage.

3. Aim to understand, rather than defend and explain

Any situation involving more than one person is subject to multiple interpretations, so if a participant or event staff tells you that you are behaving unacceptably, try to understand what they are saying rather than getting immediately defensive and explaining how they are wrong. When someone comes to you with a concern, if you tell them that they’re interpreting the situation incorrectly, it just makes them feel like you haven’t heard them and that, somehow, you believe their experience or knowledge of the situation is less valid than your own. Lose the ego, learn how your actions were perceived, and consider a sincere apology, which can go a long way toward diffusing a situation.

Addressing Unacceptable Behavior Outside of our Events

Our Code of Conduct is meant to safeguard the welfare of members and guests at our events and while participating in our communication channels. We understand that events that take place or have taken place, outside of our events may impact participants of our events. Incidents can occur in virtual spaces or real ones. They can happen between people who don’t know each other or between people in a relationship. They can also be reported after a significant passage of time. Regardless of circumstances, we want to respond thoughtfully, fairly, and compassionately to incidents that pertain to members of our community. If you feel the need to bring attention to incidents that may constitute an active threat to the safety and well-being of people at our future events, we invite you to do so. Understand that our ability to provide remedies to conflict extends only so far as the management of our events and communication channels.

If you wish to report an incident that did not happen at our event, but involves participants in our event, please contact any one or more members of the Code of Conduct committee, listed at the end of this document.

Incident Reporting

Note: When reporting an incident, please indicate if there are any other individuals on the CoCC you are not comfortable being involved in receiving the report or responding to the situation. They will recuse themselves during the discussion of your incident.

If you have an incident that you would like to report after the event, please email us at chillitscoc@gmail.com. Communications with the CoCC will be kept confidential.

Guiding Principles for Chillits Planners and Code of Conduct Committee

  • Violence, whether physical, sexual, verbal, and/or emotional, is unacceptable at our events and in our communities. Perpetrators of violence will face consequences both immediate (e.g. ejection from an event in progress) and potentially lasting (e.g. exclusion from future events).

  • We believe in compassion, healing, and forgiveness. We treat all parties to an incident with care and concern, and we view compassion for all parties in conflict to lead to healing action and as an effective method of de-escalation. This also means that we review exclusions regularly with re-entrance to the community being possible and desirable.

  • We align our policies with the large body of research that argues, statistically, against the prevalence of false accusations of rape. Approaching us to report an incident of sexual misconduct is difficult and would not likely be undertaken lightly, capriciously or malevolently. We take any accusations very seriously.

  • We are sensitive to the fact that reporting an incident may place intense stress on the reporter - a person who may already be traumatized. We recognize asking a person in this state to recount their experience of the incident may cause additional harm or damage and that the fear of such an experience could cause an individual to not report the incident. As such, we favor de-escalation, compassion, healing, and harm-reduction techniques in consultation with the parties feeling at risk in order to minimize risk and harm to individuals, and maximize healing, positivity, and growth.

  • Allegations and concerns may have significant implications for individual safety and privacy. We employ discretion when addressing code of conduct issues and respect the privacy of the involved parties. At our events, serious incidents that come to the attention of event staff or volunteers must be reported to the Site Coordinator or a lead planner by the staff/volunteer(s) who received the incident report.

  • At our events, the event leadership may engage in some situation-appropriate inquiry into “what happened” to determine how to best assist anyone who may have been harmed and to assess whether those involved in the incident in question are an active threat to themselves or others. Aside from the practical matter of immediate safety, we are not an investigative body (such as law enforcement) and are governed by the principles of harm reduction and de-escalation, not jurisprudence.

Path to Return to the Community

When an individual has been asked to no longer participate in our events, there may come a time in which they would like to discuss re-entry to our community. These requests will be subject to Planners Approval if appropriate conditions are met.

This process of re-entry must be initiated by the person, of their own accord, and will begin with an email to chillitscoc@gmail.com. The following must be included in this request for consideration:

  • A description of the work that you have undertaken to understand, reflect, grow, and make amends for the behavior that led to your removal from our event and had a direct impact on victims who attend our event.

  • Identify at least one member of the Chillits community, in good-standing, who is willing to serve as your Sponsor. The Sponsor must be informed of the incident(s) that prompted us to disallow you from attending Chillits, the nature of the work you have undertaken above to make amends, and your plan for avoiding any future incidents. The Sponsor will act, minimally, as the first-line support and accountability system for you while at Chillits and in other interactions with the community where an additional party would be beneficial. Spouses and significant others are ineligible to serve as sponsors. Sponsors must be approved by the Code of Conduct committee.

Once a Sponsor is approved, a representative from the CoCC will talk with the individual and the sponsor to discuss the precipitating incident(s) and progress made to-date. During this time, the CoCC may also reach out to the original reporter(s) to let them know that a request for re-entry has been made. The reporter(s) will have a chance to make a statement. Once a complete re-entry request has been received, the Planners team will consider and vote on the request at a specially scheduled meeting. A vote for re-entry will allow the individual to rejoin the community on a probationary basis.

Should probationary return be granted, the sponsor will be expected to attend Chillits events with the individual until such a time as the CoCC and the probationary member determine it is no longer necessary. If any further reports of CoC violations are received during the probationary period, it will jeopardize the individual’s ability to attend future events. The sponsor must be in attendance at the event the entire time the individual is also there. If the sponsor must leave early, so too will the individual.

EXTERNAL RESOURCES

Chillits Code of Conduct Committee

As of May 2, 2026:

  • Alicia Pollak
  • Menyui Leung
  • Scott Nelson Windels